Check in With Ana: Hard Times FOR ALL

Life has been freaking hard lately. I know everybody is fighting in the fold right now but hot damn y’all. It’s not a competition and I can’t even get into it. Normally I’m a tell all kinda girl but this is a new level of pain for me. For the first time my life I’m tired of being annoying.

On that note I’m doing at least one important thing a day. My invisible illness has been up and down but I’m fighting it aggressively to the best of my ability although I always need more help and I appreciate emotional support a lot! I’m about ten pounds under weight because of stress however it’s still healthy that I’m getting out and hiking 2-10 miles a day every week usually in the words/and with my pup Lola whom the the most snuggly deaf support a girl could ask for. I keep rocking out to “Ain't No Rest For The Wicked” by ‘Cage The Elephant’ as a theme song lately! I feel profoundly sad and scared in an odd way I’ve never experienced before I never thought it got this dark. And yet I’m stronger than ever inside. My core has never been so powerful and inspired. If I can get some energy back and get into a space where I don’t have to fight my allergies so much I could really start writing. I’ve been waiting and working on my craft for the last ten plus years preparing for this time in my life. I never expected it to look like this.

The only thing I wish was different is I would like a partner in crime… I kinda have something because of how quality my few friend are and amazing Lola, but let’s face it that’s not sexy time. I don’t like to get sexy time with strangers so longing to look soulfully into someone’s beautiful eyes is a little annoying at times. That said I’m done with online dating and I’m not going to force anything right now. I wanna be with someone who wants to be with me so much they GOD FORBID make an effort to be with me… and I’m looking for someone who doesn’t drink because I’m tired of dating alcoholics. Oh and I’m not actually looking I’m really working on being here for myself because I know I couldn’t trust someone right now. Why am I talking about this? It’s stressful.

So news I’m opening up a new ETSY store. It’s going to have lots of art and jewelry. I think it’s going to be a rad little passion project but I’m worried it will go nowhere because I won’t pay for advertising. Nonetheless I’ll probably post stuff on here and anything on there can be requested on here/and I can negotiate prices as well possibly. I will post a link once I put stuff up on it. It’s going to take time but I’m finally getting good inventory and I have good taste kiddos… and I’ll never call you kiddos again because I like you!

Let’s talk later!

RIP Mika Mae Jones My Darling

I met Mika Mae Jones in College. 

I keep trying to write words to express to transformation she went though. 

And what she meant to me. 

But she was my best friend though my adult life. 

And nothing does justice to what I feel right now. 

I’m writing a book and it’s going to go into depth about this transformation. 

But no short blog can say. 

 

All I can say is that losing Mika is tragic. 

My heart is broken. 

The world looks different. 

And I love her with all of my broken heart.